Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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