So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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