i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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