if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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