The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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