NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
