he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
