omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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