Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize