I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
