and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize