You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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