i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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