you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
