Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize