Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My cat gives me a boner
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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