The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
