Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
