i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
