It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
