The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
