I cannot find my penis.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
