My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
