I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
