He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
