did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
