So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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