nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
