By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
