u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
