DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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