so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
