She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
