but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
