are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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