She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
