my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
