Your face is a jimmy john
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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