I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
