It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
