with your own penis?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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