I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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