your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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