He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
