The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize