I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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