i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
