but the lizard people decide everything anyway
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize