So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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