I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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