Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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