Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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