Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
