The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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