I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
