tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
