She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
