a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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