I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
