She's JV to your varsity
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
