this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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