Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm bleeding and have questions
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
