dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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