Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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