He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dear god my vagina.
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