I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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