great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am one with the molecules
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My feet surprised me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
