yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
