...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
