yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize