He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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