I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize