so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
