she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
