I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
