just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
