and you said cock pushups were impossible
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
