Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
