and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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