I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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