white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and she was petting her beer can
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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